La, la, la. It's six AM. I don't have to be to work for another three hours- what, you ask, am I doing awake so early then? Exercising? Making myself a complete breakfast? Doing anything good for my health? Nay. I've made a little habit of getting tipsy and passing out... only to wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep.
Do you know what there is to do in the middle of the night? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing. Well, there is Facebook, but I can only read so many status' proclaiming that "LOST IS CRAAAZY OMFG" before I want to throw my computer out of my window and/or do something else very drastic like close out of the Facebook window and scoff. However, Facebook did bring me to the realization that I had this blog. So now I write.
Well, folks I guess I should let you know. I quit smoking cigarettes, thanks to my old friend GERD. If you read "gerd" you are correct, if you read "G-E-R-D" you are clearly not familiar with gastroesophageal reflux disease.
See along with all of my other fun Asian traits- trouble with my R's, being a bad driver, terrible depth perception and obsession with Hello Kitty- I also developed a very bad case of acid reflux Now, just take a little guess as to what caused the overwhelming feeling in my throat that had me face-to-toilet for two weeks straight every time I tried to eat? DING DING DING- cigarettes and diet coke! To remedy this, I had to give up a lot of things for a short time (french fries, diet coke, coffee) and some things for a long time like spicy foods, beer and cigarettes. So ta-dah! I'm a former smoker! This all happened in January which means it's been four mothereffing months, beeotches!
Now you may think this is means my blog is null- but I beg to differ. Fear not, I will find other topics to discuss on this garrulous blog of mine. Be warned though, it will probably be one of the following 1. ranting about my kennel of a job 2. ranting about my slave labor of a job 3. ranting about boys 4. explaining why it's appropriate to drink to excess multiple times a week- which brings be to...
TODAY IS CINCO DE MAYO! Congratulations Mexico on defeating...the French. Welp, I'm sure the symbolism and politics behind the victory is much more to brag about than overcoming a bunch of self-rolled cigarette smoking, Seine river walking jerks. Who am I kidding, I love France...which reminds me- today I find out if the $5 someone else donated to the lottery pool in my name is going to pay off and win me a piece of the MegaMillions jackpot of $288 million. Even if it's only a few thousand hundo or maybe a mil (that's million, not metric for thousand) it would still finance the Benedict Arnold in me so I can get the eff out of this country- I've been here way too long.
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I just la la la'd on a word document today. I wonder if we were doing that at the same time. Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteFor Christmas, I was going to ship you wine I saw in Target called "The Middle Sister." I thought, Oh! Melanie would love this! It's all about her!!!!
But then I thought, Wait, Melanie isn't the middle sister. I am. Weee! It's Me!!!
Go become a follower of my blog, keyloid.
ReplyDeleteAlso, for heavens sake take the security word thing off your comments. Don't be so laze.
And another, add the plugin to your comments so I can put my name and url instead of having to use my google ID.
P.s. you need to update more.
In what world are you the middle sister? Michelle, you, me, David, Fiona
ReplyDelete...I'm the middle sister
Even if you take Fiona out of the equation because she is made of mainland Asia, I'm still the middle child- please don't take away the one title I have in the family other than "the best and most awesome English girl" I need something that makes me sound humbled :)
also- could you not comment your incessant ramblings and use a more direct form of contact, way to prove to my 4 followers that I'm a n00b. Geeez.