Well, I did it. I quit smoking cigarettes cold turkey exactly one week ago and you know what? IT FUCKING SUCKS. Quitting cigarettes is such a mind fuck. First, there is the withdrawal from nicotine. Then, the realization of oral fixation sets in. Next, you find yourself eating french fries way more than you normally would and weighing ten pounds more than you did the week before! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! I am way too vein to gain weight instead of smoking cigarettes. Yeah, I said it. I'm that shallow.
Okay- that all may have been somewhat of an exaggeration. I didn't gain ten pounds, but I seriously have been eating so many french fries. The whole hand-to-mouth thing is driving me up the wall.
Because I work for the best company ever! I have free access to a quit coach and extra materials to "help me on road to recovery." Yes, that is exactly what my "quit coach" said. She is very nice and told me to try eating nuts and hard candy instead of chewing gum. She said this way I'll be bringing my hand to my mouth and satisfying that urge. Well see how this goes in another week.
And this is a trend that's sweeping the city! My jailbird friend is not only picking up Spanish while he's locked up, he's also quitting smoking cigarettes too! I told him when he gets out we will sit together and not smoke. Yeah, yeah yeah I'm awesome.
I need a fucking cigarette.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Back in Black
It's been a long while since I've updated (typical blog cliche I never wanted to give into,) but that's because I went on a month long binge of all bad things including but not limited to drinking, smoking, sexing, drugging, rocking and rolling. As they say in France, today shit hit the fan.
Originally, this blog was about trying to quit smoking, but I am going to deviate from the norm for a hot minute and discuss what led me to smoking so regularly and where that has put me now. I was the girl they sang about in country songs, I only smoked when I drank. However, I drank a lot and therefore smoked a lot and figured out that a cigarette when you're hung over is just as good as a cigarette when you're drunk; and a cigarette sober is just as good as a cigarette hung over. So it goes (KV.)
As previously stated, I drink a lot. No big deal, I'm of age, though still young. I [typically] stay safe, though I do have a few run-ins with authority here and there. And it doesn't impinge upon my work or my relationships, so I thought. About a month ago, my friend quit drinking because she lost her purse and keys while she was black out drunk. Luckily, the bar had them and she was able to continue her life without many repercussions. Two weeks ago, I had to pick a friend up from a street corner at 2am because he was black out drunk and didn't have a way home. When I got there, I found that he had lost his iPhone. Luckily for him, he was also able to retrieve it (for the price of a cheeseburger thanks to a homeless woman and a pimp who jumped into the catch basin where it had fallen.) Last weekend, I blacked out at a bar, puked and skipped out on my best friend's birthday party because in that state, I only wanted more sex, more drugs and more rock and roll. C'est la vie.
I went to the hospital this morning and found out I had pneumonia. A probable consequence of the amount of cigarettes I had been smoking lately- about a pack every two days. This may not seem like a lot but apparently it is when you have "messy lungs" as the hospital called them. I can't go back to work for a few days because they have me on a profusion of medicine. I decide I'm going to spend this time lying by the pool reading and thinking about how I got to this point.
I'm on page 21 of my new book and my friend approaches me. He just got out of jail. He was arrested for drunk driving last night and was told he was going to serve 45 days in LA county. The police station botched his paper work and accidentally let him out. We had a few cigarettes to ease his stress. I turned around, and there were the cops looking for him to take him back to jail.
This blog is about my continued half-hearted attempt to quit cigarettes and my whole-hearted concern for the direction of my life.
Next post will be happy, promise.
[edit/] If you know anyone recently married or getting married in the next month, send them my way.
Originally, this blog was about trying to quit smoking, but I am going to deviate from the norm for a hot minute and discuss what led me to smoking so regularly and where that has put me now. I was the girl they sang about in country songs, I only smoked when I drank. However, I drank a lot and therefore smoked a lot and figured out that a cigarette when you're hung over is just as good as a cigarette when you're drunk; and a cigarette sober is just as good as a cigarette hung over. So it goes (KV.)
As previously stated, I drink a lot. No big deal, I'm of age, though still young. I [typically] stay safe, though I do have a few run-ins with authority here and there. And it doesn't impinge upon my work or my relationships, so I thought. About a month ago, my friend quit drinking because she lost her purse and keys while she was black out drunk. Luckily, the bar had them and she was able to continue her life without many repercussions. Two weeks ago, I had to pick a friend up from a street corner at 2am because he was black out drunk and didn't have a way home. When I got there, I found that he had lost his iPhone. Luckily for him, he was also able to retrieve it (for the price of a cheeseburger thanks to a homeless woman and a pimp who jumped into the catch basin where it had fallen.) Last weekend, I blacked out at a bar, puked and skipped out on my best friend's birthday party because in that state, I only wanted more sex, more drugs and more rock and roll. C'est la vie.
I went to the hospital this morning and found out I had pneumonia. A probable consequence of the amount of cigarettes I had been smoking lately- about a pack every two days. This may not seem like a lot but apparently it is when you have "messy lungs" as the hospital called them. I can't go back to work for a few days because they have me on a profusion of medicine. I decide I'm going to spend this time lying by the pool reading and thinking about how I got to this point.
I'm on page 21 of my new book and my friend approaches me. He just got out of jail. He was arrested for drunk driving last night and was told he was going to serve 45 days in LA county. The police station botched his paper work and accidentally let him out. We had a few cigarettes to ease his stress. I turned around, and there were the cops looking for him to take him back to jail.
This blog is about my continued half-hearted attempt to quit cigarettes and my whole-hearted concern for the direction of my life.
Next post will be happy, promise.
[edit/] If you know anyone recently married or getting married in the next month, send them my way.
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