reason 5

A few friends and I met at a local bar to watch the SU game. About a quarter of the way through my FIRST beer, a friend and I went to have a cigarette. I make it through my first one, and since I was feeling eager and unsatisfied, I light another. Bad idea. As my friend is explaining the premise of his screenplay, I start to feel dizzy. I should tell him, I thought. However, I only had this thought and didn't actually act upon it. What, you ask, did I do instead? Oh, it was much better. I fainted. That's right, I was THAT girl passed out on the sidewalk at 6:30 in the afternoon. And don't think I'm trying to copy the likes of early Paris Hilton or pre-rehab Lindsay. I was much more glamorous about it; mostly because the sun was still out and my sunglasses flew off my face.

The next thing I remember I heard someone calling my name, but could only see black. At this point not only did I think I was blind, I was really confused because I thought "How is this empty black mass calling my name and what the fuck does it want from me?" When I woke up, my friend informed me that I had in fact not gone blind but just fainted (duh, silly!) Although, he did think I was having a seizure because apparently my lips were moving while I was passed out. We were both very confused as to what was going on.

Now, many things may have caused me to faint. Most notably, the fact that I am hypoglycemic (and borderline diabetic) and hadn't eaten since noon. That would make sense, since I've fainted before for that reason. But I'm going to blame it, as Kerry drunkenly did, on my cigarettes. It's actually the fault of the slow burning American Spirits I smoke which left me in the hot sun, dehydrated and sucking on they're long lasting, all-natural, no additives goodness.

In other words, reason #5 to quit smoking is to avoid utter embarrassment. Sure, it's cute when you faint, but not when you faint and then appear to mumble tongues in a state of coma. In front of a boy. That's just sloppy. Uh, FAIL. FAIL. FAIL.