Shortly after I stumbled into work three hours late (it was seis de mayo and I made sure I took the morning off) my college roommate messaged me asking a favor. She works for a radio station in upstate NY and wanted me to call in to play with the DJ a bit. I happily complied and spent the rest of the day giggling at my desk with a very dear, but very far friend.
As the day came to an end and the frisson faded, sadness began to creep in. I missed my friend and today's scandal reminded me of all the times we shared- both good and bad. My little trip down memory lane with her spiraled into me reminiscing about my friends and family in all other reaches of the world. By six o'clock I was crying at my desk and watching The Muppets sing sad songs at Jim Henson's memorial service on YouTube. It was quite the scene. Fortunately, I cry at work often so my coworkers didn't think too much of it...yes, okay?! I cry at work often- what do you expect from a young, emotional girl that has an affinity for watching YouTube videos of sentimental TV commercials?!
Anyway, I tried to console myself with that"airplane ride away" quote from Sex and The City but then I realized what I was quoting and ended up just feeling pathetic. This is when I resorted to the Red Vines as a last hope. Work was so much fun today...
For those of you who would like to hear the raunchy raunchiness that happened at 3pm EST/12pm PST you can find it here but please don't share it with immature ears nor judge the conversation. You're more than welcome to judge but only the way people look, that's what I learned at work today. Aren't people in California so nice?
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Top of the Morning
La, la, la. It's six AM. I don't have to be to work for another three hours- what, you ask, am I doing awake so early then? Exercising? Making myself a complete breakfast? Doing anything good for my health? Nay. I've made a little habit of getting tipsy and passing out... only to wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep.
Do you know what there is to do in the middle of the night? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing. Well, there is Facebook, but I can only read so many status' proclaiming that "LOST IS CRAAAZY OMFG" before I want to throw my computer out of my window and/or do something else very drastic like close out of the Facebook window and scoff. However, Facebook did bring me to the realization that I had this blog. So now I write.
Well, folks I guess I should let you know. I quit smoking cigarettes, thanks to my old friend GERD. If you read "gerd" you are correct, if you read "G-E-R-D" you are clearly not familiar with gastroesophageal reflux disease.
See along with all of my other fun Asian traits- trouble with my R's, being a bad driver, terrible depth perception and obsession with Hello Kitty- I also developed a very bad case of acid reflux Now, just take a little guess as to what caused the overwhelming feeling in my throat that had me face-to-toilet for two weeks straight every time I tried to eat? DING DING DING- cigarettes and diet coke! To remedy this, I had to give up a lot of things for a short time (french fries, diet coke, coffee) and some things for a long time like spicy foods, beer and cigarettes. So ta-dah! I'm a former smoker! This all happened in January which means it's been four mothereffing months, beeotches!
Now you may think this is means my blog is null- but I beg to differ. Fear not, I will find other topics to discuss on this garrulous blog of mine. Be warned though, it will probably be one of the following 1. ranting about my kennel of a job 2. ranting about my slave labor of a job 3. ranting about boys 4. explaining why it's appropriate to drink to excess multiple times a week- which brings be to...
TODAY IS CINCO DE MAYO! Congratulations Mexico on defeating...the French. Welp, I'm sure the symbolism and politics behind the victory is much more to brag about than overcoming a bunch of self-rolled cigarette smoking, Seine river walking jerks. Who am I kidding, I love France...which reminds me- today I find out if the $5 someone else donated to the lottery pool in my name is going to pay off and win me a piece of the MegaMillions jackpot of $288 million. Even if it's only a few thousand hundo or maybe a mil (that's million, not metric for thousand) it would still finance the Benedict Arnold in me so I can get the eff out of this country- I've been here way too long.
Do you know what there is to do in the middle of the night? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing. Well, there is Facebook, but I can only read so many status' proclaiming that "LOST IS CRAAAZY OMFG" before I want to throw my computer out of my window and/or do something else very drastic like close out of the Facebook window and scoff. However, Facebook did bring me to the realization that I had this blog. So now I write.
Well, folks I guess I should let you know. I quit smoking cigarettes, thanks to my old friend GERD. If you read "gerd" you are correct, if you read "G-E-R-D" you are clearly not familiar with gastroesophageal reflux disease.
See along with all of my other fun Asian traits- trouble with my R's, being a bad driver, terrible depth perception and obsession with Hello Kitty- I also developed a very bad case of acid reflux Now, just take a little guess as to what caused the overwhelming feeling in my throat that had me face-to-toilet for two weeks straight every time I tried to eat? DING DING DING- cigarettes and diet coke! To remedy this, I had to give up a lot of things for a short time (french fries, diet coke, coffee) and some things for a long time like spicy foods, beer and cigarettes. So ta-dah! I'm a former smoker! This all happened in January which means it's been four mothereffing months, beeotches!
Now you may think this is means my blog is null- but I beg to differ. Fear not, I will find other topics to discuss on this garrulous blog of mine. Be warned though, it will probably be one of the following 1. ranting about my kennel of a job 2. ranting about my slave labor of a job 3. ranting about boys 4. explaining why it's appropriate to drink to excess multiple times a week- which brings be to...
TODAY IS CINCO DE MAYO! Congratulations Mexico on defeating...the French. Welp, I'm sure the symbolism and politics behind the victory is much more to brag about than overcoming a bunch of self-rolled cigarette smoking, Seine river walking jerks. Who am I kidding, I love France...which reminds me- today I find out if the $5 someone else donated to the lottery pool in my name is going to pay off and win me a piece of the MegaMillions jackpot of $288 million. Even if it's only a few thousand hundo or maybe a mil (that's million, not metric for thousand) it would still finance the Benedict Arnold in me so I can get the eff out of this country- I've been here way too long.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Howdy Howdy, Smoke and Rowdy
Well, well, well...it's been a month and what has changed in my tobacco addicted life? Um, that would be nothing. Well, actually one thing did change. The amount of smokers in my life has increased.; my boyfriend has a new roommate who smokes and his other roommate decided to pick up the habit. But here's the good news! The bf's two roommates bum cigarettes off me every time they hear me go to the balcony to smoke- consequently taking more cigarettes from my pack even though I'm buying at the same rate. That means I'm cutting back! Hooray lungs!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Second Coming
Well, well, well. When I last left you, I was cigarette sober for a week and you'll be proud to know I kept it up...for three weeks. On my birthday, I allowed myself to have a few cigarettes while I was drinking and that snow balled into bumming cigarettes for about a week until I finally gave in to the savory taste of the cancer stick. So I will begin to keep a more updated blog as I half-heartedly try to quit smoking yet again.
Please be aware of the following changes for round two of attempting to quit:
Please be aware of the following changes for round two of attempting to quit:
- I don't smoke American Spirits anymore! That means I'm really addicted, or poor. Probably both.
- My friend was released from jail and I'm the happiest girl in the world now! And he buys me cigarettes! But before you hate his aiding and abetting ass for buying them for me, remember I'm the happiest girl in the world and you don't want to ruin that do you....DO YOU?!
- My job has changed three times, which is important to the amount I smoke per day. Originally, I was probably at a half a pack per day. When I went to work for WRP, I definitely smoked a pack a day. Thankfully, that ended and I'm now at TP, and since I'm new, I'm uncomfortable with taking smoke breaks, so now I'm at about a 1/3 pack per day!
- The last time I quit smoking I had a "quit coach" provided by my employer. Unfortunately, I no longer have that job and since I'm not going to invest in a "quit coach" (which is really just an operator that tells you to eat hard candy whenever you're having a craving) I no longer have one of those either.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Cold Turkey. Week One.
Well, I did it. I quit smoking cigarettes cold turkey exactly one week ago and you know what? IT FUCKING SUCKS. Quitting cigarettes is such a mind fuck. First, there is the withdrawal from nicotine. Then, the realization of oral fixation sets in. Next, you find yourself eating french fries way more than you normally would and weighing ten pounds more than you did the week before! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! I am way too vein to gain weight instead of smoking cigarettes. Yeah, I said it. I'm that shallow.
Okay- that all may have been somewhat of an exaggeration. I didn't gain ten pounds, but I seriously have been eating so many french fries. The whole hand-to-mouth thing is driving me up the wall.
Because I work for the best company ever! I have free access to a quit coach and extra materials to "help me on road to recovery." Yes, that is exactly what my "quit coach" said. She is very nice and told me to try eating nuts and hard candy instead of chewing gum. She said this way I'll be bringing my hand to my mouth and satisfying that urge. Well see how this goes in another week.
And this is a trend that's sweeping the city! My jailbird friend is not only picking up Spanish while he's locked up, he's also quitting smoking cigarettes too! I told him when he gets out we will sit together and not smoke. Yeah, yeah yeah I'm awesome.
I need a fucking cigarette.
Okay- that all may have been somewhat of an exaggeration. I didn't gain ten pounds, but I seriously have been eating so many french fries. The whole hand-to-mouth thing is driving me up the wall.
Because I work for the best company ever! I have free access to a quit coach and extra materials to "help me on road to recovery." Yes, that is exactly what my "quit coach" said. She is very nice and told me to try eating nuts and hard candy instead of chewing gum. She said this way I'll be bringing my hand to my mouth and satisfying that urge. Well see how this goes in another week.
And this is a trend that's sweeping the city! My jailbird friend is not only picking up Spanish while he's locked up, he's also quitting smoking cigarettes too! I told him when he gets out we will sit together and not smoke. Yeah, yeah yeah I'm awesome.
I need a fucking cigarette.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Back in Black
It's been a long while since I've updated (typical blog cliche I never wanted to give into,) but that's because I went on a month long binge of all bad things including but not limited to drinking, smoking, sexing, drugging, rocking and rolling. As they say in France, today shit hit the fan.
Originally, this blog was about trying to quit smoking, but I am going to deviate from the norm for a hot minute and discuss what led me to smoking so regularly and where that has put me now. I was the girl they sang about in country songs, I only smoked when I drank. However, I drank a lot and therefore smoked a lot and figured out that a cigarette when you're hung over is just as good as a cigarette when you're drunk; and a cigarette sober is just as good as a cigarette hung over. So it goes (KV.)
As previously stated, I drink a lot. No big deal, I'm of age, though still young. I [typically] stay safe, though I do have a few run-ins with authority here and there. And it doesn't impinge upon my work or my relationships, so I thought. About a month ago, my friend quit drinking because she lost her purse and keys while she was black out drunk. Luckily, the bar had them and she was able to continue her life without many repercussions. Two weeks ago, I had to pick a friend up from a street corner at 2am because he was black out drunk and didn't have a way home. When I got there, I found that he had lost his iPhone. Luckily for him, he was also able to retrieve it (for the price of a cheeseburger thanks to a homeless woman and a pimp who jumped into the catch basin where it had fallen.) Last weekend, I blacked out at a bar, puked and skipped out on my best friend's birthday party because in that state, I only wanted more sex, more drugs and more rock and roll. C'est la vie.
I went to the hospital this morning and found out I had pneumonia. A probable consequence of the amount of cigarettes I had been smoking lately- about a pack every two days. This may not seem like a lot but apparently it is when you have "messy lungs" as the hospital called them. I can't go back to work for a few days because they have me on a profusion of medicine. I decide I'm going to spend this time lying by the pool reading and thinking about how I got to this point.
I'm on page 21 of my new book and my friend approaches me. He just got out of jail. He was arrested for drunk driving last night and was told he was going to serve 45 days in LA county. The police station botched his paper work and accidentally let him out. We had a few cigarettes to ease his stress. I turned around, and there were the cops looking for him to take him back to jail.
This blog is about my continued half-hearted attempt to quit cigarettes and my whole-hearted concern for the direction of my life.
Next post will be happy, promise.
[edit/] If you know anyone recently married or getting married in the next month, send them my way.
Originally, this blog was about trying to quit smoking, but I am going to deviate from the norm for a hot minute and discuss what led me to smoking so regularly and where that has put me now. I was the girl they sang about in country songs, I only smoked when I drank. However, I drank a lot and therefore smoked a lot and figured out that a cigarette when you're hung over is just as good as a cigarette when you're drunk; and a cigarette sober is just as good as a cigarette hung over. So it goes (KV.)
As previously stated, I drink a lot. No big deal, I'm of age, though still young. I [typically] stay safe, though I do have a few run-ins with authority here and there. And it doesn't impinge upon my work or my relationships, so I thought. About a month ago, my friend quit drinking because she lost her purse and keys while she was black out drunk. Luckily, the bar had them and she was able to continue her life without many repercussions. Two weeks ago, I had to pick a friend up from a street corner at 2am because he was black out drunk and didn't have a way home. When I got there, I found that he had lost his iPhone. Luckily for him, he was also able to retrieve it (for the price of a cheeseburger thanks to a homeless woman and a pimp who jumped into the catch basin where it had fallen.) Last weekend, I blacked out at a bar, puked and skipped out on my best friend's birthday party because in that state, I only wanted more sex, more drugs and more rock and roll. C'est la vie.
I went to the hospital this morning and found out I had pneumonia. A probable consequence of the amount of cigarettes I had been smoking lately- about a pack every two days. This may not seem like a lot but apparently it is when you have "messy lungs" as the hospital called them. I can't go back to work for a few days because they have me on a profusion of medicine. I decide I'm going to spend this time lying by the pool reading and thinking about how I got to this point.
I'm on page 21 of my new book and my friend approaches me. He just got out of jail. He was arrested for drunk driving last night and was told he was going to serve 45 days in LA county. The police station botched his paper work and accidentally let him out. We had a few cigarettes to ease his stress. I turned around, and there were the cops looking for him to take him back to jail.
This blog is about my continued half-hearted attempt to quit cigarettes and my whole-hearted concern for the direction of my life.
Next post will be happy, promise.
[edit/] If you know anyone recently married or getting married in the next month, send them my way.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
reason 6
I'm standing outside after hours people watching and having a smoke. A little man begins to walk toward me and past the handicap ramp I'm leaning against. A moment goes by. The little man returns and asks to get a cigarette. I give him one and he says thanks to the "beautiful lady." The sun is setting and I flung my head back to expose my neck to the fading rays. The little man is back. This time he is a carrying a rose he plucked from the rose bush surrounding the company's sign. He said "A beautiful flower for a beautiful lady" handed me the white rose and walked away.
A week later I was enjoying a cigarette midday. The man from the mail room came outside. He likes to smokes cloves. Since he's having a lady cigar and my cigs are slow burning we talk about life. What life? His life. He told me his life story. He was in prison for three years. He was a street pharmacist for fifteen years. After a string of tickets and getting caught driving with a suspended license, it's jail time or a $6,000 fine, neither of which he can afford, if he's seen behind the wheel. He lives an hour away from work in a car. He takes the bus.
reason 6: Strange times with strange men.
[edit/] The man from the mail room informed me a week later that they were giving away margaritas and Coronas on the fourth floor, so I partially excused the autobiography he recited.
A week later I was enjoying a cigarette midday. The man from the mail room came outside. He likes to smokes cloves. Since he's having a lady cigar and my cigs are slow burning we talk about life. What life? His life. He told me his life story. He was in prison for three years. He was a street pharmacist for fifteen years. After a string of tickets and getting caught driving with a suspended license, it's jail time or a $6,000 fine, neither of which he can afford, if he's seen behind the wheel. He lives an hour away from work in a car. He takes the bus.
reason 6: Strange times with strange men.
[edit/] The man from the mail room informed me a week later that they were giving away margaritas and Coronas on the fourth floor, so I partially excused the autobiography he recited.
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